How to operate your social media WITHOUT learning what happened in the Olympics ...

24-hour news cycles reporting on stories, friends and family posting on Facebook, techies tweeting their opinions on what they see - there is no escaping the onslaught of scores and results from the Olympics.  You can hide, unplug everything, and wait for NBC's primetime coverage to start before plugging everything back in.  You can run to Buffalo Wild Wings as the staff struggles to find the channels that the Olympics are on (true story), or you can follow these steps to use your social media while still not getting "spoilers" about the Olympic coverage.

TOP TEN WAYS TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA WITHOUT LEARNING WHAT HAPPENED IN THE OLYMPICS

10.  Buy a "drinking bird" toy, similar to what Homer Simpson used when working from home.  Hopefully, you want your tweets to be about Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y.

9.  Use Google+, nobody else uses it.

8.  Hire Biggest Bark Marketing Solutions to manage your social media.  We'll take care of your social media, you enjoy the judging of the women's team gymnastics final.  (Samuel L. Jackson thinks the UK "got screwed" in Monday's team final ... what will he think of tomorrow's women's event?)

7.  Make sure that your twitter account only follows @DailyPuppy.

6.  Devote your next two weeks to only updating your Wikipedia page, and changing the 2012 London Olympic Opening Ceremony page to state that Paul McCartney closed the show with a rousing cover of MC Hammer's "2 Legit 2 Quit".

5.  Remember, using a handheld device for texting, tweeting and Facebooking is illegal.  Therefore, dig out your first cell phone and activate it ... then spend the next two weeks working from your Madza 323.

4.  Film a parody of "Call Me Maybe."  Everyone and their brother has done this, its as unique as Tebowing.  Actually, my brother and I haven't done this yet ...  Give us a few days.

3.  Words with Friends.

2.  Spend the next two weeks playing with Instagram, and find out its totally pointless. 

1.  Watch the embedded video below ... and write your feelings on Google+.